


More Than Meets the Eye

by theteacupprincess



Series: Realizations by Tony Stark [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29436318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theteacupprincess/pseuds/theteacupprincess
Summary: Tony makes an even bigger realization.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Realizations by Tony Stark [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2162262
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	More Than Meets the Eye

Oh boy, he’s screwed. As he stared at the blonde, blue-eyed wonder who is currently smiling ear to ear, waving at him from across the room, like they had a secret, holding two champagne flutes and pretending to be paying attention to the crowd that has gathered around him out of nowhere, he realized how utterly fucked he is.

Because that fluttering in his stomach, that smile that’s pulling at his lips, that deep desire to reach out and touch the man still smiling at him— ** _dangerous_**. The only other time he’d felt those things were with Pepper, once upon a time. But even then, it wasn’t this intense. This pull—it’s threatening to rip him apart. He’d never felt like this before.

And shit, he’s never known such terror.

At his age, how does he even navigate this?

He’s never been shy about appreciating beauty whether in women or men. And the occasional bursts of attraction were not foreign either—after all he’s just human. But it has never been so strong to make him want to explore and give it a shot with guys. He would admit to imagining someone naked if let’s say he was faced with an Adonis. But to imagine himself kissing, or touching or having sex? He’d never entertained such thoughts.

Until Steve.

He’s not really sure when or how it started. All he knows is that somehow, thoughts of Steve have started occupying his mind more and more. Thoughts of him lying down on the couch in his workshop, getting lost in whatever he’s doing at the moment—sometimes he’s sketching, other times he’s working on something on his laptop, the one he gave him. Thoughts of Steve handing him a steaming hot cup of coffee, early in the morning, upon emerging from working for days. Thoughts of their playful banter as Steve strips out of his uniform, unmindful of his injuries because he knows they’re already healing while the rest of them mortals have to grunt and cry in pain and embarrassment for being fragile and breakable.

Small thoughts or big thoughts, it was all just about him.

About how thoughtful he was. When he found out that he loved berries, the next time he ventured into the garden there were several of them already halfway flourishing. Blueberries and raspberries and strawberries. All his favourites.

About how caring he was. He knew Tony hated going to the hospital. So he’s taken the time to keep comprehensive first aid kits in several places all over the compound so there’s always one within reach should he need it.

About, and this gleefully surprised him, how easily he reads Tony’s moods. When he’s on a streak down at the workshop, he never interrupts but there’s always food coming up. He even got Tony some vitamins. When he’s pissed off, Steve would take him to blow off steam without pressing him to talk about why. And when he’s finally ready to talk, he always has pizza and beer ready and he’ll listen patiently to whatever rant Tony has, whether they were legit or trivial. And by god! He could talk to Steve for hours! And never, not once, did Steve show any sign of boredom or disinterest or even judgement.

He’d never felt closer to anyone, not even Rhodey whom he considers his best friend.

He couldn’t believe his luck—finding a good, nay, great friend in someone he used to abhor growing up!

If only it stopped there!

But when were things ever that simple for _Tony Stark_?

One minute he’s thinking about Steve’s toothache inducing ideas for team building, next he’s thinking about being pinned down by Steve as they wrestle for a flag, their bodies and faces pressed against each other that he could Steve’s breath on his skin. He’s thinking of his fresh injuries after fights and applying first aid on them and then kissing—KISSING them all away?!

Him? Kissing Steve?

Where. Did. That. Come. From?!

Okay. Attraction. He was familiar with that. He can and he’ll get over it—eventually.

But then emotions got involved.

Sometimes he feels like a fucking teenager dealing with his first crush! All day, everyday, every damn day, there’s no one else he wants to see and be with than Steve. He really thinks he’s too old for this! He wants to vomit! He really, really wants to get over this crush as soon as possible.

But at the same time, just thinking of not being near Steve, of not being able to spend time with him and talk to him is doing something wicked to his heart and— _oh god! He’s really, really screwed!_

Steve was walking towards him, that wretchedly gorgeous smile still on his face. And he’s trying hard not to panic, but his knees are shaking, and his stomach is doing all sorts of things and there were butterflies. And it feels like a spotlight was on him and on Steve and everything has faded into the background and there was only the two of them in the world. Steve and Tony. Like nothing and nothing else but the two of them made sense.

“Here.” Steve handed him a glass. Their fingers accidentally touch, and it took all the control he had not to grab his hand and lace their fingers together. _Oh my god, did he really just think that?!_

“I thought I was never getting away. Don’t let those old ladies fool you. There’s nothing sweet nor dear about them. Rabid, the whole lot of them,” Steve deadpanned. This kind of banter between them during events like this is now a common occurrence. Making fun of unsuspecting attendees was a good way to pass up time and surprisingly, for two people with very different personalities, they share the same dry humour that most people would find irritating. Steve could be very sarcastic and funny when he wants to, and so far, few people have been graced by this gem of a secret. He is one of the few lucky ones.

“No witty comeback?” Steve asked and he quickly realized he hadn’t replied and that he was staring. He really must have looked off because not a moment later, Steve was closer than ever, looking at him with worry.

“Are you okay? You look pale.” He almost swooned, hearing the concern on his voice.

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat. “Just a little off—I think I’m gonna go ahead…”

“Let me just get our coats,” he said. And before he could protest Steve was already ushering him towards the exit, carefully dodging overeager greeters, extending hurried goodbyes and making sure they were never more than a foot from each other.

Which, if he was being honest, only made his head hurt. Because he wanted to get away from Steve. But he is also ravishing the attention he’s being showered right now. _How do you solve the problem when the problem is the cure?_

He should have declined. He should have argued. He didn’t. He let Steve handle him, let him steer him towards their car, _Avengers service actually_ , steer him back to their home, _Avengers tower_ , and in their room, _his workshop_.

“Shouldn’t you just go to bed?” the worry was still evident on Steve’s face, but he doesn’t seem as agitated as he was when they were still in that party.

“Later. I-I just need to clear my head,” he said, turning away to hide the blush he knows is spreading all over his face.

“Did something happen at the party? You were fine earlier.”

He wanted to say “ _yeah, you_ ” but of course he couldn’t say that. So he shook his head, flashed Steve his best version of a smile before picking up the first thing he could on his workbench which was a wrench, which really didn’t make sense, but hey, it’s something. If Steve thought it was weird, he didn’t say anything. He kept quiet, waiting for Tony to say something.

“I’m good. Just had this idea pop into my head and I kinda need to turn it around for a bit cause it’s not making sense, yet, I mean it will, when I figure it out—” he stopped when he saw Steve staring at him, eyebrow raised curiously. “I’m rambling.”

“You want to talk about this idea?”

“No,” he shook his head vehemently before mumbling to himself. _No, sir. That would be a really bad idea._

“Why?”

“Of course you heard that,” he sighed. He straightened his back and mustered enough courage to look Steve in the eye.

“Let this go? Please,” he said in his tiny, pleading voice that he knew Steve could never say no to. He watched as he silently deliberated with himself before giving him a stout nod and an understanding smile.

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me,” he said before walking out of the workshop, leaving him alone. When he was gone, he slumped on his chair and let out a big, fat, sigh.

A week later and he was still mulling over his realization. Steve had kept his word—he hadn’t bothered Tony about it though he still monitored Tony’s activities to make sure he was fed and didn’t overdo anything. _Typical Steve. Reliable Steve. Caring Steve._

He thought the time away would somehow lessen his feelings, but it actually had the opposite effect. It made yearning bloom in his chest. He caught himself, several times, almost marching towards Steve’s room, wondering why they hadn’t seen each other or talked in days, only to remember that he was trying to stay away.

It’s another week later when Steve finally cornered him right outside his workshop.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” It wasn’t a question. And neither was it accusatory.

“No!” he huffed indignantly. “I just got really busy.”

“With this idea that popped into your head that you needed figuring out?”

“What? I mean, yeah—”

“What idea? Is it about improvements on our gears? Cause you know you can throw ideas with me—”

“No, it’s not.”

“Is it about the team?”

“What? No!”

“Can’t you at least tell me what it is?” Steve grinned and wrinkled his eyebrow at him in that disarmingly charming way of his, not really aware of the turmoil he’s going through at the moment. And he couldn’t—no way he could lie to him if he pushed this any further.

“Oh for fucks sake, Cap, I asked you to let it go!” He could taste the bile and regret in his mouth the moment the words were out of his mouth.

“Oh.” And he could see Steve closing off, walls coming up and he has not seen him this guarded in months! _Shitshitshit._

“Okay, I’m sorry for bothering you.” Before he could apologize, Steve was gone.

He wanted to go after him but chickened out. To apologize, he would have to explain why he was in such a mood. And isn’t that the reason why he was staying away in the first place? Because he couldn’t talk to Steve about his problem. Because the problem is Steve.

And the problem just keeps getting bigger. Because Steve wouldn’t let it go.

He thought he maybe had a few more days before he could come up with an apology and an excuse that wouldn’t damage their friendship and easy rapport too much but Steve had other ideas. He found him again that night.

“Tony,” he called from down the hallway as Tony was about to enter his room and retire for the night (or early morning). He tried his best not to panic and run into his room, making sure to ask Jarvis to lock it and override Steve’s override codes.

“Please, I just need you to listen to me. Five minutes, you don’t even have to say anything—just let me—let me say what I need to say.”

And he made the mistake of looking at him and there goes his self-preservation. Because the desperation and supplication in his voice were already too much, the rawness in his eyes destroyed whatever self-control he had left. The pause he made gave Steve the permission he needed.

“I think—I think I know why you’ve been avoiding me,” he said quietly, his head bowed down as if in shame. And wasn’t that nice? Steve still had the audacity to look embarrassed even though he’d been the one to keep this huge secret that has their friendship on the verge of ruin. He has the audacity to look embarrassed for rejecting a one-sided love affair.

“I’m sorry, Tony, I didn’t mean to—”

“What are you apologizing for, it’s not your fault,” he said defensively, trying to for some self-preservation a little too belatedly.

“I lied to you, took advantage of your friendship.”

“Wait—what?” He couldn’t help but shake his head in confusion. What was Steve talking about?

“I thought being your friend, your best friend would be enough, but I couldn’t help it,” he cried.

“Steve, what are you saying?”

“I tried really hard to not, but it’s you and who could resist falling in love with you?”

He blinked.

“What—”

Steve looked at him and frowned.

“Isn’t that why you’ve been avoiding me? Cause you found out about my feelings for you? That’s why I’m here to apologize now if I’ve made you uncomfortable or think that I’ve been taking advantage of you, because I never meant to and I had no plans of ever taking advantage of our friendship.”

He could feel his brain short-circuiting and he couldn’t really understand the rest of Steve’s words because he’s still stuck on that four letter word he said with conviction but also uncertainty at the same time.

“I just want you to know that you don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to acknowledge it, you don’t to reciprocate it, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. If you want me to stay away, I’ll do it. I just, please don’t be mad.”

He laughed. Out loud. And Steve frowned, confused and hurt.

“I mean, I know I only asked you not to be mad but you don’t have to make fun of me either—”

He kissed him to shut him up.

“You have—no idea—how crazy I’m getting—trying to deal—with my feelings—for you,” he said in between kisses.

Steve pulled away to look at him. They’re both now breathless and the colour of beet.

“You have feelings for me too?”

“Yes,” he answered, still a little out of breath. “That’s why I’ve been avoiding you. Cause I didn’t know how to deal.”

He looked Steve and for some reason, the awe and love and the way he seemed to be urging him to speak and how he seems to be hanging on to his every word made his heart leap and his mouth moving.

“I’m old—”

“I’m older than you.”

“Only technically and don’t interrupt cause I don’t know if I could ever find the courage to say these things again.”

Steve nodded silently.

“I’m old, and I’ve never had feelings for another man. At my age, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to do this. And I’m scared. Because this is the type of thing that scares me—you know, for a lot of reason. I’m scared, first, that you didn’t, couldn’t feel the same way, and then I’m scared that if you ever found out, you’d be mad at me and push me away and I know I won’t survive that kind of heartbreak.”

He took a deep breath, willing himself to continue. The soothing caress of Steve on the small of his back gave him comfort.

“And then what if you DID feel the same way and we tried and because I’m me and I always screw up I fail and lose you and that’s—I don’t even want to think about it.”

Steve pulled him into his arms and pressed their foreheads together.

“I know who you are, Tony. And that’s why I fell for you. And don’t beat yourself up for something that hasn’t happened yet, or won’t, if I have anything to say about it. Because if this fails, it’s not just on you. It’ll be on both of us.”

Steve tilted his chin so that they were looking eye to eye.

“We’re a bunch of idiots, aren’t we,” he chuckled.

“For a genius and a master tactician? Yeah, we kinda are.” He smiled and all of a sudden, it felt like the weight was off his shoulder and flowers were in bloom and there were fireworks in the sky and Steve—Steve was here, with him, looking at him with the same intensity and smile and love in his eyes.

And it was so much more than he could have ever hoped for. Yes, things will be awkward for sure. And yes, there will be adjustments—a lot of them. After all, when it comes to feelings and emotions there’s really a lot more to it than meets the eyes. But he was also looking forward to all of it. More so because he gets to look forward to it with Steve. And isn’t that just the most amazing feeling in the world?


End file.
